Today I was having a very interesting conversation with one of my sons on the topic of so-called “haters.” This term has been thrown around for ages now and everyone seems to boast of having a whole slew of them. Indeed, the more haters one has, evidently the more successful, powerful, beautiful or prestigious that person tends to be…Or at least that’s the way people puff up their own egos: by boasting of imaginary haters.
I would contend, though that most people are not nearly as hated as they imagine themselves to be. Average Joe and Jane are just not well-known enough to be hated by the masses. And sadly, their own neighbors instead of hating them are more likely ignoring them. Still, the emotional and psychological hang-ups that lead people to believe that everyone is against them, envious of them, and eager to see their downfall are not my point here.
What I’d like to propose is that the large majority of us have LOVERS. Yes: LOVERS and NOT HATERS. What do I mean by this? If people actually talk about you all day, criticize everything about you down to the minutiae, frequently mention you (indirectly) in blog posts or status updates, and generally can’t stop thinking about you, what does this tell you?? As negative as the energy they put out toward you may seem, I declare that what their actions show is that they deeply love you. They love you so much in fact that they may secretly want to be more like you! What prevents them from saying so–even to themselves–is NOT hatred. It’s FEAR.
Whatever and whoever you are may be so threatening to their sense of their established ego that they simply cannot accept that if given the chance they would do or say exactly what you do or say. They are afraid that the light you bring to their bondage may force them to change. Heaven forbid that after having determined what will be their life-long persona they should admit that they would like to change! What on earth would people think of them?!
The people who you think are your haters are just secret admirers who have not learned to cast out fear. What you represent to them are the parts of themselves they are accustomed to denying. Because they have not known the fullness of themselves they have decided to join the police force comprised of those who have not reconciled all parts of themselves and forbid others to do it.
So, take heart. First of all, don’t fall into the trap of imagining a host of haters. To the great masses of the earth you are actually rather insignificant. But when you are confronted with people who seem to be true haters, SMILE and remember that they’re not haters afterall. They are your lovers even though they don’t know it. But you and I know it. And for now, that is enough.
- First Hater (raulfelix.com)
- How to Deal with Haters (business2community.com)
- Haters will be Haters but Beggars can’t be choosers. (umkhaloodie.com)
- Haters Do! True Friends Don’t! (klaradio.wordpress.com)
- Haters (meandtheworld15.wordpress.com)